Bleeding Kansas
by Shaelynn Stark
Summary: It's been a year since he lost Lex. Will he ever be able to go on with his life? Perhaps...With a little help from the other side. Slash. Clex. Will dance for reviews.


**Bleeding Kansas**

**Disclaimer:**  
I do not own the characters nor am I in any way affiliated with _Smallville_...This fic was written strictly for entertainment purposes only...

**Genre:**  
Tragedy/Romance

**Pairing:**  
Clex

**Rating:**  
T for themes/content

**Song Used:**  
"Who You'd Be Today"-Kenny Chesney

Tragedy Strikes

It had been two years. It had been two years since Clark had come clean with Lex about the two biggest secrets in his life. He remembered how relieved he'd been when he heard Lex say those three little words.

_"Lex, I don't know quite how to tell you this..." Clark began hesitantly. He could see the way Lex was looking at him after he'd told him about his being an alien. It wasn't quite the look he'd anticipated. Instead of looking at him like a freak-which he would have thought anybody would do-Lex looked at him as just another human being. That made Clark a little more comfortable. Though, he was still nervous as hell about telling Lex his other secret. "...That wasn't my only secret that I've been hiding...There's one other one and...Well, I'm just not sure how you'll react if I tell you...I'm afraid it might jeapordize our friendship and I...I just wouldn't want that to happen..." Half-smiling, Lex told him "Clark...You can always tell me anything...Whatever it is, nothing could ever come between our friendship..." Sighing slightly Clark looked up into Lex's piercing blue eyes as he slowly replied "...Can I tell you I love you?..."_

_He could tell Lex was surprised by what he'd said but he didn't feel that Lex's silence was in rejection. It seemed to be as though Lex was still processing what he'd said. Then, Lex moved closer to him on the couch and wrapped an arm around Clark's shoulders as he replied gently, smirking. "Of course...As long as I can tell you the same thing..." Clark couldn't believe what he'd just heard. _Did he really just say that? Could he actually return my feelings for him? _He remembered thinking. "What?..." Clark asked, still blown away by Lex's initial reaction. Smiling, Lex replied "Clark...I love you..." Clark could hardly believe it. Lex really did return his feelings._

That had been two years ago. It had only been one year when the one thing he thought could never happen happened. Clark still couldn't believe it-even a year later. It still seemed to him like an awful nightmare that he still expected to wake up from.

_Lex and Clark had been sitting in the park, celebrating their one year anniversary. They still couldn't believe they were finally together. It was like they were living in some fantasy world of their own. Whatever it was, neither of them would have ever dreamt it would end the way it would. It all started when Clark got the feeling that something wasn't right. Then, before either of them knew what was happening, Lex and Clark had stood to leave when they heard the sound of a gunshot ring throughout the air. The next thing he knew, Clark felt Lex fall into his arms. _

_Laying him down gently on the ground, Clark couldn't believe what he was seeing. Taking in the sight of Lex's bloody midsection, Clark remembered thinking to himself. _Oh, God! No! Not Lex! Please, not him! Take me instead! Just please, don't take him from me! I can't lose him! I need him! _Clark nearly lost it completely when Lex looked up into his soft green eyes-his own blue eyes full of pain and suffering-as he said weakly "Clark..." Watching as Lex coughed up more blood, Clark could feel tears stinging in his eyes. However, he forbade them to fall. He couldn't lose it. Not now, he had to be strong-for Lex. Weakly, Lex added "I...I love you..." _

_Seeing what was happening, Clark knew Lex wouldn't make it. He could also sense that Lex knew that as well. The tears now disregarded his will not to let them fall and streamed freely down his cheek as he gave in to what he knew even he couldn't prevent this time. "I love you, too, Lex..." He stated softly. Clark felt his heart shatter when he watched Lex smile weakly as his eyes fluttered for a moment before they finally closed and he watched Lex's chest fall for the final time. _No!...No, this can't be happening!..._He thought to himself. Finally, he managed to pull himself away from Lex as the police and medics arrived and he just gave in and let them do their jobs._

_He'd told the police everything he knew-which wasn't much. Even now-a year later-the culprit had never been caught. Part of Clark didn't care-as he knew catching the shooter wouldn't bring Lex back-yet the other part of him would kill to catch whoever did that to Lex and make them pay dearly for what they'd cost him. In the end, Clark realized that if the culprit hadn't been caught by now, chances are he never would be._

Everything still seemed so surreal to Clark. Even now, he would still swear he could see Lex standing by his side if he turned quickly enough. Sometimes, Clark would even think he heard Lex calling out to him in the dead of the night, when he lay awake thinking of Lex. To this day, visions of what had happened that fateful afternoon still haunted Clark's dreams. Guilt, too, haunted Clark. _I should've done something!...I should've saved him!...He needed me and I let him down!...How could I have done that?..._Clark thought to himself, one cold December night.

Then, it was as if he were in some kind of a dream. There, in front of him, he saw Lex standing. His body was haloed in a golden light. Though, Clark noticed it wasn't really Lex, rather Lex's ghost, as he could partially see through him. "Clark..." Clark looked up into Lex's piercing blue eyes as he listened as Lex spoke to him. "Clark, don't blame yourself for what happened to me...It wasn't your fault..." He'd said. Wanting to believe him, Clark replied "But, Lex, I was _right there_...I should have done something-anything...I should've done something to help you..."

Half-smiling, Lex simply shook his head as he replied "Clark, there was nothing you could've done-There wasn't anything _anybody _could have done...It wasn't your fault...Don't blame yourself...Because I certainly don't blame you..." Smiling quite a bit wider now, Lex added "I never did..." Smiling slightly, Clark replied "Thanks, Lex...You don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that..." Watching as Lex continued to smile down at him, Clark watched as he began slowly fading away.

As Lex finally disappeared from sight, Clark reached out to where Lex had been standing and cried out "No! Lex, come back!" Tears streaming down his face, Clark quietly sobbed to the empty room. "Please...Lex, I need you..." Suddenly, he couldn't see Lex, but he could hear him speaking once again. "I'll always be with you, Clark..." He heard him say. Taking comfort in knowing those words were true, Clark just lay back in his bed. Smiling, he finally drifted off to the most restful sleep he'd gotten since the day he'd lost Lex.

The next morning, Clark awoke to the harsh golden rays of sunlight filing in through the window. Remembering what he'd seen last night, Clark smiled at the thought of what Lex had said to him. He knew others would think he was crazy if he told them what he'd seen, yet he knew it was real and that he wasn't crazy. That was all that mattered. He didn't care if they thought he was crazy. All that mattered was that he knew now that what happened to Lex wasn't his fault. Somehow, knowing that Lex didn't blame him helped Clark to put his mind at ease. For what reason, he couldn't be sure. All that he knew was that there are some things in life that even _he _can't prevent.

_Man...That's gonna take some getting used to..._He thought to himself with a smile as he realized this. Getting out of bed, Clark noticed a picture of him and Lex taken a few months after Clark had come clean with him. Smiling, at the memories it brought up, Clark just held the picture in his hand, staring at it for a while. Putting the picture back on the nightstand, Clark stood and thought to himself. _Why should I torment myself with all the bad memories?...I should be remembering Lex the way he ought to be remembered...I should just remember all the _good _times he and I had together...And there were plenty of them..._He thought to himself. Going about his normal morning routine, Clark could have sworn he heard Lex's voice again.

"I'll always love you, Clark...Don't ever forget that...And as long as you keep me in your mind and in your heart...I'll never be truly gone..." Clark heard him say. Smiling, he softly stated to the empty room. "Don't worry, Lex...I won't forget...I _couldn't _even if I _wanted _to...And you know you'll always be in my heart and mind..." Once Lex's voice died away for the final time, Clark smiled to himself and went about the rest of the day with newfound hope.

_Sunny days seem to hurt the most  
I wear the pain like a heavy coat  
The only thing that gives me hope  
Is I know I'll see you again some day  
Some day  
Some day  
Some day_


End file.
